When you led me away from my sister and friends that day at the plaza, what made you think I wouldn’t grow up to know better? What made you think I would remain naïve forever? Did you think I was going to protect you with silence MY WHOLE LIFE, and never tell anyone what you did to me? I wasn’t just an object at that age, ya know; I was and am a human being!!!!!! a human being with a heart, mind, and soul; a child who has hopes, dreams and a family. You never considered any of that. You were out to please yourself at the expense of a naive child. You enticed me into going with you. You deceived me so you could use me to cooperate with your disgusting desires. You never once considered my welfare, feelings or future.
You knew I was too young to understand. You targeted me because you knew I could be easily led into assisting you with your devious intentions, not knowing what I was walking into. You knew you were wrong. You knew you were committing a crime against me but you did it anyway. You secretly led me away.
You wanted me to believe that I was in good hands. You were hoping I would never come to realize your criminal plan. You were hoping I would keep your dirty little secret and never expose the crime you committed against me. You knew you were hurting me and that’s why you didn’t want anyone else to know. Well, let me tell you something. I did grow up and I grew up to know better. Now I know you are not the nice man you made out to be. Now I know you were hoping to confuse me so I would cooperate with you.
The confusion, the pain and the shame you caused me, led me down a dark and lonely road for years. I carried YOUR shame on MY shoulders, but NOW I KNOW BETTER!!!!
Now I know I had nothing to do with it. I trusted you because I was just a little girl who didn’t know any better. I cried and cried when you were “done with me”. You ignored me. You didn’t care. Did you really think I would never grow up and stand up for myself and tell the world about you? Now I know better than to keep your dirty little secret a secret. Now I know better than to protect you with silence. You will no longer damage me.
I am now a strong person who has discovered her voice and I want the world to know that I am putting the shame back where it belongs, ON YOU. I am not that naive child anymore and I’m not an object you can do with as you please. I had nothing to do with your shameful acts and disgusting lies. You did not have my consent, you tricked me. I know the truth now. The lies you were hoping I would believe have been exposed and replaced with the truth. I may have believed your lies back then but now I know I didn’t ask for it. Now I know I didn’t deserve it. Now I know I was helplessly under the jurisdiction of a child molester; a criminal who cared for no one but himself, who looked to satisfy himself at the expense of an innocent kid. You will no longer damage me. You are nothing to me. I grew up to be a woman of integrity who will no longer allow anyone like you to have any more control over me and my life. I am a woman who has learned to speak the truth; who has learned to recognize liars like you. I can see clearly now and I no longer walk in the shadows of your shame.
Now I know.
It feels so much better to know than to doubt.
Now I know the truth and I’m standing on it.
I’m standing on solid ground.
From: Victim No More