When survivors want to tell their story they get confused about why they can’t get it together and others can tell their stories so masterfully. Many survivors have asked me, “Do survivors with memory loss gain their memory back?” They want to be heard but they struggle with making sense of their own stories and lives. I had the same issue and it held me back for a long time. Once I pieced my story together I still struggled with how and if I even should “come out of the closet”. I’d like to elaborate a bit on what that process was like for me and offer my insights from my experience.
I learned so much from Dr. Bessel VanderKolk. He wrote a book called “The Body Keeps the Score”. He hit the nail on the head for me when he explained what trauma does to memory. I was subjected to so many traumas in my life, childhood, and adulthood. To this day I still have images of what happened. It’s still hard for me to put the details into words, and its always been like that. Dr. Vanderkolk says, “Trauma escapes language and causes memory loss.” This makes so much sense to me. This is one reason why I had such a hard time processing my traumas with my therapist. (Another article I wrote is (click) Healing Moments in Therapy. It’s on our FB page Human Trafficking Elearning, page under “notes”.)
If you are considering going more public with your story there are a few things I want you to consider. You already know some things you need to consider from reading (click) “Understanding the Four Stages of Recovering from Sex Trafficking”.
My advice is: If you are going to educate others about human trafficking you have to know your stuff, do the research and do your homework because there’s a lot of wrong information being given at human trafficking training and events. Human trafficking training consists of Sex, labor, male, female, adults, children and the LGBTQ, national and international. The federal definition of HT is this:
Sex Trafficking: Commercial sex act induced by force, fraud or coercion, or in which person performing the act is under age 18.
Labor Trafficking: Using force, fraud or coercion to recruit, harbor, transport, or obtain a person for labor or services in involuntary servitude, peonage, debt bondage or slavery.
Derived from federal legislation: Trafficking Victims Protection Act of 2000 (TVPA).
To put it simply, “It’s illegal to exploit anybody for financail or personal gain.”
Make sure you give the right statistics and demographics. So many people train others by just passing on information they got from the training that they took and that’s how wrong information gets passed on and on. You need to do your research. There may very well be an expert on HT in your audience who may call you on it when you cite the wrong information.
Human trafficking is very complex. It’s never black and white. Polaris Project came up with a very good book called, “Typology of Modern Slavery”. It depicts 25 different types of trafficking. This book clearly shows how complex human trafficking is.
If you’re looking to be a human trafficking educator/expert, I highly recommend this book as part of your research project. Even if you only intend to inspire others with your story just mentioning this book can be one way to honor the other victims. Hearing more than one story will broaden their understanding of human trafficking and this book depicts 25 different types of victims.
If you’re going to tell your story only, and do it publicly, do it as a way to pass your life lessons on and to inspire. Know what your life lessons are and which ones you want to pass on. Your counselor or therapist can help you with this. Once your story makes sense to your counselor/therapist and it makes sense to you, who knows, you may decide not to go public at all. It’s a life choice.
If you’re not going to do the research, not claim to be an expert on HT, consider telling your listeners what I told mine, “Today I hope to motive and inspire you to learn about HT right along with me. “ Let them know you are not an expert on HT but that you ARE an expert on your story. You’re an expert because
1) You know how you fell prey
2) You know what kept you trapped
3) You know why and how you escaped but you are not educated on all the different types of trafficking.
What I did, at first, was tell my listeners, “I don’t claim to be an expert on human trafficking or parenting. I claim to be an expert on my story. I don’t have any kids but I was a kid once and I was trafficked as a kid. I can offer my insights from my own experiences.”
Like I said in the 4 stages article, make sure you are strong enough to learn that some of your listeners can’t relate to you, your struggles and your story. You will find many who can relate and this is the part that can be so healing. You may even inspire someone who inspires you. By speaking out publicly you will meet some wonderful people. That’s the best part for me. I never knew there were so many wonderful people in this world until I went public with my story.
You WILL find some who cannot relate. Don’t’ take it personally. It has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them, their capacity and training.